On Being Mom

 I am not a perfect person.  I do not want to be a perfect person.  I do however want to be a good person.  I want to be a good mom. The kind of mom that when my kids are older they remember me being on the floor playing with them and reading to them and always making time for them.  I want to be the kind of mom that doesn't get so engaged in her phone & counting down the minutes until naptime so often that those times outweigh the ones where I am on the floor playing or even just interacting in anyway.

With that said I am realizing that the latter has slowly become me.  Over the last three months with pregnancy symptoms in full gear & fatigue being the most abundant I have become that mom.  I find myself getting upset with my 15 month old because he is getting into things he usually doesn't because I am lost in my phone.  He has come up to me on several occasions and swatted my phone out of my hand and my heart breaks as I realize what I am doing.  I am wasting away into Facebook, Pinterest & Instagram while I am counting down the minutes until nap time so I can be lost in these apps in peace & not have to look up every few minutes to make sure my son is not jumping off the top of the couch or chewing on electric cords and getting mad at him when he is.  Really??? Then the kicker is I find myself on these apps reading & liking articles that have to do with spending time with your children!  Jeeze am I a hypocrite!  I am grossed out by myself right now!

Please understand that I am not judging these mothers that do this I am simply talking about myself.  For me this behavior is unacceptable.  And I fully believe that sometimes a mom just needs to veg out for a bit.  I have just gone to the extreme in my vegging to the point where some days its all I do and I am seriously annoyed with having to care for my child.  I do not neglect him in his basic needs but I do not interact with him or I will give him the most convenient thing for lunch.

My point in writing this post is to hold myself accountable.  I am confessing my failures in hopes that I will be more interactive with my son.  I will get off the couch and off my phone while my son is awake & play with him.  I will take the time to make healthier meals for my family.  We will be more active together!

This blog is about me being better.  So I will do my best to be a better mom!  Maybe even posting here more regularly on how I am trying to do that! ;)

Cheers
Sam